I really do try to save my "MUST SEES" for things that truly warrant it. This is one of those, friends!
If this doesn't make your heart sing...call me ASAP and we will coach you back to life. If this doesn't make you feel grateful for all you have been given, a little guilty for what you gripe about, and a little lazy for how you spend some of your time - well, you know, call me.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7404678n&tag=api&fb_ref=belowVideo&fb_source=home_oneline
And don't forget the F*REE Journal Workshop! Look right and click for all the info.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
The Neurology of Worry
This is a post from life coach Judy Widener at www.myinnerfrontiers.com. We are, indeed, fearfully and wonderfully made. Check out some of your brain processes...
Did you know that chronic stress causes physical changes in the size and activity of many of your brain structures? When they’re swimming in the stress neurochemical cortisol, the prefrontal cortex (the CEO of the brain), and the hippocampus (houses long term memory) actually shrink in size.
Other parts, like the amygdala, swell when they’re over-stimulated. The result is an overactive stress response and impaired memory and reduced ability to plan and act. Sound a little like you?
Is it comforting to know that there’s a concrete physical cause for this experience? On the other hand, there’s a downside to knowing that your thoughts are causing the shrinkage. Unless you do something about it, your brain will keep shrinking. Numerous studies have linked dementia with reduction in brain mass.
Neurologically speaking, worry is the emotional by-product of your amygdala activating the flight response. In previous posts, you learned that the amygdala recalls scary past events. Here’s the neurological cause for that distraction.
The two sides, or hemispheres, of your brain are separated by and communicate with each other via a bundle of neurons called the corpus callosum.
In each side of your brain, there are specific structures that process individual aspects of your experience: what you hear, smell, touch, feel, remember, and more. When the two sides of your brain communicate with each other, you coalesce these tiny pieces into a whole experience.
However, sometimes, information from the right hemisphere can’t make it over to the left hemisphere (researchers are still trying to figure out why this happens). To account for this absence, the left hemisphere starts to look for stories.
This search is stressful, which spawns worry. Cue the amygdala! And the scary stories get rolling.
There are several steps along the stress response route where you can pause the old pattern of reaction and create a new way of responding to potentially stressful situations. Let’s start with the first step in your stress response.
How you respond in any given situation begins with your appraisal of it. Your level of ongoing stress will dictate which aspects of the situation you focus on, and how strong a negative reaction you have to them. Most people have at least a low to moderate level of stress simmering all the time, which predisposes them to negative future appraisals.
In other words, your present level of stress, worry or anxiety becomes your amygdala’s filter for your next experience. With every unexpected turn of events, your amygdala will focus on any threats you perceive: this situation is dangerous, difficult, painful or unfair.
In this mindset, there’s only one possible type of outcome: negative. And you won’t think you have the resources that would give you more, or better options.
Giving yourself more options is what researchers call flexible thinking. The more flexible you can be, the less stress you’ll feel. When you’re feeling stressed, flexibility feels impossible for two reasons.
First, since you’re doubtful that things could go well, trying to think of more options only conjures up more negative outcomes. Not helpful.
Second, stress limits your ability to attend to all of the details about what’s happening in this situation, so opportunities to get what you want won’t even hit your radar.
When you choose opportunity over difficult (or dangerous), your amygdala sleeps. Worry and stress are avoided. You give yourself the option to experience the same situation as an opportunity to learn, grow, express yourself fully and engage with others. You can focus your thoughts on using your resources to make wise choices and influence events in a positive way.
Did you know that chronic stress causes physical changes in the size and activity of many of your brain structures? When they’re swimming in the stress neurochemical cortisol, the prefrontal cortex (the CEO of the brain), and the hippocampus (houses long term memory) actually shrink in size.
Other parts, like the amygdala, swell when they’re over-stimulated. The result is an overactive stress response and impaired memory and reduced ability to plan and act. Sound a little like you?
Is it comforting to know that there’s a concrete physical cause for this experience? On the other hand, there’s a downside to knowing that your thoughts are causing the shrinkage. Unless you do something about it, your brain will keep shrinking. Numerous studies have linked dementia with reduction in brain mass.
Neurologically speaking, worry is the emotional by-product of your amygdala activating the flight response. In previous posts, you learned that the amygdala recalls scary past events. Here’s the neurological cause for that distraction.
The two sides, or hemispheres, of your brain are separated by and communicate with each other via a bundle of neurons called the corpus callosum.
In each side of your brain, there are specific structures that process individual aspects of your experience: what you hear, smell, touch, feel, remember, and more. When the two sides of your brain communicate with each other, you coalesce these tiny pieces into a whole experience.
However, sometimes, information from the right hemisphere can’t make it over to the left hemisphere (researchers are still trying to figure out why this happens). To account for this absence, the left hemisphere starts to look for stories.
This search is stressful, which spawns worry. Cue the amygdala! And the scary stories get rolling.
There are several steps along the stress response route where you can pause the old pattern of reaction and create a new way of responding to potentially stressful situations. Let’s start with the first step in your stress response.
How you respond in any given situation begins with your appraisal of it. Your level of ongoing stress will dictate which aspects of the situation you focus on, and how strong a negative reaction you have to them. Most people have at least a low to moderate level of stress simmering all the time, which predisposes them to negative future appraisals.
In other words, your present level of stress, worry or anxiety becomes your amygdala’s filter for your next experience. With every unexpected turn of events, your amygdala will focus on any threats you perceive: this situation is dangerous, difficult, painful or unfair.
In this mindset, there’s only one possible type of outcome: negative. And you won’t think you have the resources that would give you more, or better options.
Giving yourself more options is what researchers call flexible thinking. The more flexible you can be, the less stress you’ll feel. When you’re feeling stressed, flexibility feels impossible for two reasons.
First, since you’re doubtful that things could go well, trying to think of more options only conjures up more negative outcomes. Not helpful.
Second, stress limits your ability to attend to all of the details about what’s happening in this situation, so opportunities to get what you want won’t even hit your radar.
When you choose opportunity over difficult (or dangerous), your amygdala sleeps. Worry and stress are avoided. You give yourself the option to experience the same situation as an opportunity to learn, grow, express yourself fully and engage with others. You can focus your thoughts on using your resources to make wise choices and influence events in a positive way.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Be a Beginner
"You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to
be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole
world opens up to you."
-Barbara Sher
Remember when you were young and everything was new and exciting? When you couldn't wait to learn and understand? When was the last time something grabbed your attention that way? We live in a world of information. It comes at us 24/7 from dozens of sources. I've seen the commercial for a fast phone - "That was so 24 seconds ago." Obviously, it is to advertise the speed - but isn't that sometimes our attitude? We already know that. There's nothing new there. We've seen it, done it, got it.
We are missing the simple joy of simply BEING - of observing, taking it in, letting it just simmer. Nothing is required. We don't have to DO anything. There are no screens to watch, no buttons to push, no links to travel next. This weekend try a simple exercise. Get outside somewhere and just experience and observe whatever is going on around you. Don't overthink it or talk about it - simply take it in. Notice whatever comes to mind. If your mind wanders away simply bring it back. Let us know what you discover.
Is there something new you are interested in? Try learning from that child like place of new and exciting. What do you need to let go of to get there? We hear the Zen concept of emptying your cup. The Bible talks about not putting new wine into old wine skins. What do you need to empty out in order to take in something new? How can you shift your mindset from already knowing, to anxiously anticipating brand new thoughts, creativity, and possibilities?
Have you noticed the abundant use of the words "new" and "simply"? They are the recipe for a shift, a direction change, and mind-opening thoughts and experiences. Start at the beginning, with a beginner's mind, and the whole world will open up to you.
Laus Deo,
Beth
-Barbara Sher
Remember when you were young and everything was new and exciting? When you couldn't wait to learn and understand? When was the last time something grabbed your attention that way? We live in a world of information. It comes at us 24/7 from dozens of sources. I've seen the commercial for a fast phone - "That was so 24 seconds ago." Obviously, it is to advertise the speed - but isn't that sometimes our attitude? We already know that. There's nothing new there. We've seen it, done it, got it.
We are missing the simple joy of simply BEING - of observing, taking it in, letting it just simmer. Nothing is required. We don't have to DO anything. There are no screens to watch, no buttons to push, no links to travel next. This weekend try a simple exercise. Get outside somewhere and just experience and observe whatever is going on around you. Don't overthink it or talk about it - simply take it in. Notice whatever comes to mind. If your mind wanders away simply bring it back. Let us know what you discover.
Is there something new you are interested in? Try learning from that child like place of new and exciting. What do you need to let go of to get there? We hear the Zen concept of emptying your cup. The Bible talks about not putting new wine into old wine skins. What do you need to empty out in order to take in something new? How can you shift your mindset from already knowing, to anxiously anticipating brand new thoughts, creativity, and possibilities?
Have you noticed the abundant use of the words "new" and "simply"? They are the recipe for a shift, a direction change, and mind-opening thoughts and experiences. Start at the beginning, with a beginner's mind, and the whole world will open up to you.
Laus Deo,
Beth
Monday, April 16, 2012
YOU! The CEO
So much verbiage flying around about women and what constitutes "work" this week! I wrote this post awhile ago - seems quite relevant now. Looking forward to your thoughts. Please post them!
Don't forget the F*REE Journal Workshop on May 3. Look to your right and click on it for more info. Grab a friend or two and sign up - all from home in your jammies!
I had the wonderful privilege and opportunity to spend time with a group of brilliant, high-powered executive coaches AND a group of brilliant, dedicated, talented MOMS. I'm writing for moms, but I LOVE dads and this is for them too.
Time now for some self-disclosure. Sometimes, when I am in the presence of executive and business coaches I get a little intimidated. I don't understand the complexities of creating and building business organizations (hold that thought), don't understand the lingo, don't wear the power suit, and don't command the big bucks. Don't we sometimes do that as moms too? If we are "just" SAHMs there is some question about our productivity, our contribution. What DO we do all day? If we are moms who also work outside our homes, there is some question about our effectiveness and priorities. Can we really do it all - and do any of it really well? Do we occasionally let someone make us feel "less than"? No more! It's all over but the SHINING and BUSTING in PRIDE!
Your family is an organization. It is the most IMPORTANT organization on earth. It is complex, ever changing, demanding, rewarding, challenging, and contributes to the well-being of every single human on this planet. No, that is NOT an exaggeration. Every one of us came from some kind of family organization and it helped to define who each one of us has become. That, in turn, has played out in the state of our world today. Look around. If you need suggestions, try looking in Washington D.C. and Los Angeles. You can tell who was groomed, trained, and molded in which kind of organization.
We know that 40-60% of start up companies will fold. We know that 50% of families will collapse. The success of any organization depends on the strength and integrity of the management. The top is where culture is set, priorities are decided, values are cemented, and operating procedures are put into place.
The executive coach group discussed internal vs. external coaching, ROI (return on investment) and how to measure it, and 360 evaluations. My amazing job is to help moms (and dads) to become focused, solid internal coaches and managers. YOU are on the inside, fully invested, watchful, honest, intimately acquainted with every person, and committed with every fiber of your being to the success of your organization and its members.
The 360-degree evaluation is a mechanism for evaluating someone's performance based on feedback from everyone with whom the individual comes in contact-supervisors, coworkers, partners, subordinates, the general public. This type of feedback helps employees see themselves as others see them and allows them to seriously examine their behavior. The 360-degree evaluation will help employees identify their strengths so they can build on them at the same time it addresses their skill gaps. It is a process that leads to continuous learning, team building, growing self-confidence and improved productivity.
-Is your organization committed to continuous learning?
- Does your organization see the value of developing leaders in-house?
- Are you willing to make the changes necessary to do this?
- What is the level of trust in your organization?
- Will your culture support honest feedback?
- Is upper level management willing to lead the way and volunteer for 360- degree evaluation?
The Missouri Small Business Development website (the source of this information) likens this evaluation tool to the owl which has a 270 degree range of motion for turning its head. I love it! The owl must constantly be looking for opportunities and threats. She must gather information from all directions to get a complete read on her environment and what she must to do to survive. Put this in any business language or venue you want - this is a great MOM!
Look at the description of a 360 eval. It's brilliant in a family! All for one and for all, speak the truth in love, encourage each other, help capitalize on strengths and compensate for skill gaps, always growing and learning, a safe place to become all that you can be, and accountability. Giving feed back and helping your kids to accept and evaluate feedback is crucial to a healthy organization. Honest, direct conversations with them about what a coach, teacher, or friend has to say gives them tools they can't get anywhere else.
What's the ROI moms? We can do quantitative measures. How many times this week did everyone get out the door without crying, arguing, or being late? How many times this month did you refrain from raising your voice or using sarcasm? These are important. Setting boundaries and expectations and measuring them is vital for the operation of every organization. For example, if Johnny hands in all homework assignments for the grading period, he will earn an evening of pizza and bowling with two friends. It reinforces the value your family places on education, it requires task completion and time management, honesty and accountability are emphasized, and the satisfaction of a job well done and a reward earned are inherent in this one event.
How about qualitative measures? When you have the first civil discussion in a month with your teenager and it is sealed with a hug and a "Thanks mom". When you watch your daughter consciously include a "fringe" kid in the game. When you see your kids sacrifice their time, money, and possessions in the service of someone else. When you spend an entire day together as a family and genuinely enjoy each others company. When you hear your kids using your very language in conversations with friends - language that defines who you are as an organization - a family. "Oh yeah, we always visit the nursing home on Valentine's Day." Priceless!
What you do is of the utmost importance - in fact, it has never been more so. Our world stands at the brink and our kids will determine whether we slide over or pull back and stand in strength and integrity.
YOU are raising World Changers!
You are the CEO of an organization that will
CHANGE the WORLD!
I stand with you and am ready to coach you and your organization to the top.
Blessings,
Beth
Don't forget the F*REE Journal Workshop on May 3. Look to your right and click on it for more info. Grab a friend or two and sign up - all from home in your jammies!
I had the wonderful privilege and opportunity to spend time with a group of brilliant, high-powered executive coaches AND a group of brilliant, dedicated, talented MOMS. I'm writing for moms, but I LOVE dads and this is for them too.
Time now for some self-disclosure. Sometimes, when I am in the presence of executive and business coaches I get a little intimidated. I don't understand the complexities of creating and building business organizations (hold that thought), don't understand the lingo, don't wear the power suit, and don't command the big bucks. Don't we sometimes do that as moms too? If we are "just" SAHMs there is some question about our productivity, our contribution. What DO we do all day? If we are moms who also work outside our homes, there is some question about our effectiveness and priorities. Can we really do it all - and do any of it really well? Do we occasionally let someone make us feel "less than"? No more! It's all over but the SHINING and BUSTING in PRIDE!
Your family is an organization. It is the most IMPORTANT organization on earth. It is complex, ever changing, demanding, rewarding, challenging, and contributes to the well-being of every single human on this planet. No, that is NOT an exaggeration. Every one of us came from some kind of family organization and it helped to define who each one of us has become. That, in turn, has played out in the state of our world today. Look around. If you need suggestions, try looking in Washington D.C. and Los Angeles. You can tell who was groomed, trained, and molded in which kind of organization.
We know that 40-60% of start up companies will fold. We know that 50% of families will collapse. The success of any organization depends on the strength and integrity of the management. The top is where culture is set, priorities are decided, values are cemented, and operating procedures are put into place.
The executive coach group discussed internal vs. external coaching, ROI (return on investment) and how to measure it, and 360 evaluations. My amazing job is to help moms (and dads) to become focused, solid internal coaches and managers. YOU are on the inside, fully invested, watchful, honest, intimately acquainted with every person, and committed with every fiber of your being to the success of your organization and its members.
The 360-degree evaluation is a mechanism for evaluating someone's performance based on feedback from everyone with whom the individual comes in contact-supervisors, coworkers, partners, subordinates, the general public. This type of feedback helps employees see themselves as others see them and allows them to seriously examine their behavior. The 360-degree evaluation will help employees identify their strengths so they can build on them at the same time it addresses their skill gaps. It is a process that leads to continuous learning, team building, growing self-confidence and improved productivity.
-Is your organization committed to continuous learning?
- Does your organization see the value of developing leaders in-house?
- Are you willing to make the changes necessary to do this?
- What is the level of trust in your organization?
- Will your culture support honest feedback?
- Is upper level management willing to lead the way and volunteer for 360- degree evaluation?
The Missouri Small Business Development website (the source of this information) likens this evaluation tool to the owl which has a 270 degree range of motion for turning its head. I love it! The owl must constantly be looking for opportunities and threats. She must gather information from all directions to get a complete read on her environment and what she must to do to survive. Put this in any business language or venue you want - this is a great MOM!
Look at the description of a 360 eval. It's brilliant in a family! All for one and for all, speak the truth in love, encourage each other, help capitalize on strengths and compensate for skill gaps, always growing and learning, a safe place to become all that you can be, and accountability. Giving feed back and helping your kids to accept and evaluate feedback is crucial to a healthy organization. Honest, direct conversations with them about what a coach, teacher, or friend has to say gives them tools they can't get anywhere else.
What's the ROI moms? We can do quantitative measures. How many times this week did everyone get out the door without crying, arguing, or being late? How many times this month did you refrain from raising your voice or using sarcasm? These are important. Setting boundaries and expectations and measuring them is vital for the operation of every organization. For example, if Johnny hands in all homework assignments for the grading period, he will earn an evening of pizza and bowling with two friends. It reinforces the value your family places on education, it requires task completion and time management, honesty and accountability are emphasized, and the satisfaction of a job well done and a reward earned are inherent in this one event.
How about qualitative measures? When you have the first civil discussion in a month with your teenager and it is sealed with a hug and a "Thanks mom". When you watch your daughter consciously include a "fringe" kid in the game. When you see your kids sacrifice their time, money, and possessions in the service of someone else. When you spend an entire day together as a family and genuinely enjoy each others company. When you hear your kids using your very language in conversations with friends - language that defines who you are as an organization - a family. "Oh yeah, we always visit the nursing home on Valentine's Day." Priceless!
What you do is of the utmost importance - in fact, it has never been more so. Our world stands at the brink and our kids will determine whether we slide over or pull back and stand in strength and integrity.
YOU are raising World Changers!
You are the CEO of an organization that will
CHANGE the WORLD!
I stand with you and am ready to coach you and your organization to the top.
Blessings,
Beth
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
STRESS AND DISTRESS
What is your stress level these days? Are you aware of the stress in your life? Very often, we experience stress symptoms, but simply attribute them to "life". Before you read the blog post take this quick assessment on the website. Did you know that one of the benefits of journaling is lowered stress levels? Happy Day - scroll down for a F*REE journal workshop!
We’ve
all heard the term “stress management”. Stress comes from many sources and
takes many forms and it DOES impact us. No matter how organized, flexible, or
laid back we are, sooner or later we get stressed. Life happens - but we can
learn some effective ways to cope with the stressors in our lives.
Stress
is both good and bad. Good stress can excite and motivate us. It keeps us
engaged in the world. We know we get bored when stress levels are too low and
nothing much is required of us. A task or an event can cause some anxiety, that
jumpy feeling in our stomach, and keep us awake at night – but it can also
sharpen our thinking and boost our energy. We get fired up! We love the
challenge!
The
bad stress is the kind that causes distress and includes three components: the
things that cause distress, like danger or illness; the internal negative
feelings, such as worry, anger, depression; and the physical or biological
changes, including increased heart and respiration rates, headaches, or stomach
upset. When stress levels are too high for too long it becomes distress;
emotional and physical damage begins to occur. Our goal is to find the right
level of energizing stress and avoid disabling distress. A place to begin is to
see distress as a signal to change our thinking or behavior – to realize that
our responses are not serving us.
Have
you heard the phrase “Change your thinking, change your life”? It
contains much truth. No circumstance or event has meaning until we make an
interpretation and attach meaning. Stress does not exist outside of you. It
happens inside your mind and body and you are completely in charge of your
stress level. We can’t choose our circumstances, but we can choose our response
to them and prevent becoming distressed. Remember, circumstances change and
this, too, shall pass.
We
know that chronic, intense stress causes emotional and physical damage. There
is evidence that it also shrinks our brain. In rat studies conducted by Dr.
Bruce McEwen at Rockefeller University in NYC, chronic stress diminished the
number of neurons in the prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain associated
with attention and decision making. It could mean the same for us humans,
changing the way our brains work and look, costing us some mental flexibility
and agility. The good news is that the changes can be reversed. I believe that
God designed our bodies to heal when we give them the right environment,
including rest, exercise, good nutrition, meaningful work, love, and laughter.
Aerobic
exercise has been shown to reverse the effects of aging on our memory and
thinking speed. A study at the University of Illinois showed an increase in the
number of neurons in the brain and the connections between those neurons in
participants who exercised three times per week. Other benefits of regular, heart pumping exercise include fewer and less severe illnesses,
better balance, faster reaction times, and REDUCED STRESS! Don’t you just LOVE
how God designed us so life weaves and connects us to each other and provides the answers?
Research
suggests that shorter, more frequent prayer and meditation times can rewire
your brain for greater happiness, compassion, and gratitude. Simply whisper, "Thank you" during your day.
Get
out and play! Take your kids and run, jump, fly a kite, swing, jog, bike, throw
a ball, swing a bat, have a picnic, and laugh until you fall down and your
sides stitch and your face aches. Then hug and hug some more!
Blessings,
Beth
Sunday, April 8, 2012
F*REE JOURNAL WORKSHOP
Have you been thinking about journaling? Would you like to be a more consistent journaler? Do you get stuck when you start to write? Come fire your imagination and creativity. Take a F*REE mini- sabbatical and see what magical things can come in just two hours of uninterrupted time for YOU.
In this workshop you will:
- Discover the benefits and power of journaling. Did you know it reduces stress?
- Get quiet and still. Quiet the monkey mind chatter. Ahhhh!
- Engage in a meditation to prepare you to write. Just let your mind drift - no agenda or time constraints
- Learn a wonderful technique for discovering what's most important to explore and write about.
- Do some journaling!
- Receive a worksheet and suggestions to keep you going
We will take our mini sabbatical via telephone. If you have not done this before no worries - it is easy and fun. You can curl up in your favorite quiet spot with your journal, a cup of tea, and you can do it in your sweats or jammies!
There are a limited number of spaces on the bridge line so call 602.626.8036 or e-mail beth.madigan@cox.net today to reserve your space.
"I want to write but more than that
I want to bring out all kinds of things
that lie buried in my heart."
- Anne Frank -
In this workshop you will:
- Discover the benefits and power of journaling. Did you know it reduces stress?
- Get quiet and still. Quiet the monkey mind chatter. Ahhhh!
- Engage in a meditation to prepare you to write. Just let your mind drift - no agenda or time constraints
- Learn a wonderful technique for discovering what's most important to explore and write about.
- Do some journaling!
- Receive a worksheet and suggestions to keep you going
We will take our mini sabbatical via telephone. If you have not done this before no worries - it is easy and fun. You can curl up in your favorite quiet spot with your journal, a cup of tea, and you can do it in your sweats or jammies!
I am offering TWO workshops so you can ALL participate - no matter your time zone!
Thursday May 3, 2012 from 7-9 pm Pacific and Mountain
Thursday May 3, 2012 from 7-9 Eastern (that's 6-8 for you Central people)Thursday May 3, 2012 from 7-9 pm Pacific and Mountain
There are a limited number of spaces on the bridge line so call 602.626.8036 or e-mail beth.madigan@cox.net today to reserve your space.
"I want to write but more than that
I want to bring out all kinds of things
that lie buried in my heart."
- Anne Frank -
Monday, April 2, 2012
No Limits
If you have not seen or heard Nick Vujicic you are in for a treat. If you have, he is ALWAYS worth a repeat. He is a remarkable specimen of courage, faith, humor, gratitude, and a NO LIMIT mentality!
http://www.wimp.com/watchingthis/
Enjoy! Then do a personal inventory. Express gratitude. Do something for someone else. Scatter JOY!
Laus Deo,
Beth
http://www.wimp.com/watchingthis/
Enjoy! Then do a personal inventory. Express gratitude. Do something for someone else. Scatter JOY!
Laus Deo,
Beth
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